REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1375 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 31 JANUARY 2012
PUB: GREAT MALVERN HOTEL, MALVERN
HARES: LOST & TRUNCHEON
Virgins: none.
Visitors: none.
Beers: Bass, Black Pear, Bird's.
The trail: a few less hashers than of recent weeks – is it the cold weather? Again sorry I wasn't on it – I am told that it started with a greenspace exploration down to Spring Lane, across the common to Back Lane and a bit of hillwork before St. Anne's Road back to the pub. As is his custom, Lost made sure that there wasn't too much flour to make the trail easy to find.
As the R.A. was hare, Sybil did the down downs to the hares, to Pimp for missing all the hash halts, and to Posh Hash for her exemplary calling on the trail.
Mona Lisa.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1372 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 10 JANUARY 2012
PUB: PRINCE OF WALES, MALVERN
HARES: GONE COMMANDO, ASSISTED BY RSWIPE
Food: STEW AND DUMPLINGS, + VEGGIE VERSION.
Virgins: none.
Visitors: none.
Beers: Banks's Bitter, Ringwood Best, Wye Valley Butty Bach & HPA.
The trail: sorry I wasn't on it – I'm giving my Achilles tendons a chance to recover – was 4 miles for 40 hashers under a full moon. Some new paths, through the woods to St. Anne's Well, down past the Theatres and Splash, then back to the pub via urban paths.
Lost gave thanks to the barman and to Tits or Treats for ably assisting behind the bar, then down-downs to the hares, and a nomination to Drag Queen for taking his hat for a haircut. Best Costume down-down went to Kaptain Kremen (a regular winner), and Screw Loose for mistaking a lump of wood for a flour trail mark drove it down Wally (another regular occurrence).
Mona Lisa.
Footnote: Trespasser left the pub feeling down at heel as his trainers had disappeared from the porch. He said they weren't worth pinching, so if it was a jolly jape it fell flat on its feet.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1367 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 06 DECEMBER 2011
PUB: OLD CHESTNUT TREE, LOWER MOOR
HARES: CUCKOO CLOCK
Food: CHILLI & RICE, VEGGIE LASAGNE.
Virgins: none.
Visitors: none.
Beers: Banks's Bitter, Hobgoblin, 3 Tuns Stirling Bitter, MHB Black Pear, Old Chestnut Tree Special.
The trail: only 19 enjoyed another dry evening under a near full moon, for an almost square trail around Throckmorton tip. Still we couldn't see it all, only smell it. Clockwise from the pub, with some tree-lined paths and big pools, the residue of gravel extraction. We missed 2 of the 4 hash halts on this 6 mile 4 mile hash, and never saw Sybil after the first check. If he was slower he wouldn't be adrift so much.
Lost gave down-downs down-downs to the hare, to Babushka for having his car headlights on at the car park and still turning on his head torch, and nominations - Sybil for not enjoying the trail – went to Jane for getting lost on the way there because she was looking for a pub called the "Old Cuckoo". The hashers then gave Lost a down-down for the abandoned tent by the rubbish tip.
Reminders: next week "Fairies", Boxing Day – Cross Keys run.
Mona Lisa.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1365 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 22 NOVEMBER 2011
PuB: THREE HORSESHOES, BARNARDS GREEN
HARES: COMOUFLAGE & SCREW LOOSE
Food: buffet –sausage & chips with bread.
Virgins: none.
Visitors: none.
Beers: Bombardier, Taylor's Landlord, Flowers Original.
The trail: how long will our luck last with the weather? It was hammering down overnight, but we were treated to a clear sky and no wind, just as well, since the flour was intermittent, although the hares were helpful.
It seemed quite quick, but as none of the other 40 or so said anything it might be me! An anti-clockwise loop with Guarlford as the far point, and some nice paths to balance the rough pastures.
Lost introduced the down-downs with a brilliant shaft of wit that Scott was going to make scones with all the flour the hares had left over. He also explained about water down-downs. Proper down-downs this time to the hares, to Rob who remained squeaky clean so was christened "Sponge Bob", and nominations - Wally for suffering a small prick – went to The Commandress (Megs) for being caught in the doggy position, and to Drag Queen the birthday boy.
Mona Lisa
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1364 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 15 NOVEMBER 2011
PUB: FREEMASON'S, DROITWICH
HARES: UNHINGED
Food: buffet – sandwiches, sausage rolls, pork pies, etc.
Virgins: none.
Visitors: Vicky (Pantbuster's daughter).
Beers: Ringwood Boondoggle, Banks's mild.
The trail: back to our regular turnout of 40 or so hashers, who Unhinged took over new territory, featuring in sequence: the climb up to the church, the cabbage field, golf course, main road halt, Chateau Impney, and the recently re-opened Droitwich canal. Yet another benign evening. Good job too, as I wouldn't have fancied that cabbage field in the rain.
Back at the pub, proceedings started with the AGM, with Kaptain Kremen proposing an en-bloque repeat of the current Hash Junta, apart from RA and Hash Flash. This was agreed by the assembled throng, so is now:
GM Kaptain Kremen, Deputy GM Wrong.
RA Lost, Deputy RA Sybil.
Hash Cash, Well Laid, Half a Bag, Rhubarb.
Hash Horn, The Amateur.
Choir Mistress, Rhubarb, Deputy Drag Queen.
Webmaster, The Amateur.
Hairraiser, Trespasser.
Scribe, Mona Lisa.
Hash Flash, Tits or Treats.
Half a Bag presented the accounts – Surplus for the year £650, funds held £3,200. The team would welcome ideas for the use of the money, having already used some to subsidise the rain jackets.
The new RA, Lost, with thanks to the pub and to Unhinged, announced that following a new rule there would be no down-down for new shoes, and gave down-downs of water to the hare (also to preface a new rule); the outgoing RA Shag; the vibrator – Andy on the electric fence; and the gentleman – Wally for helping people over the fence.
Mona Lisa.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1363 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 08 NOVEMBER 2011
PUB: OLDE WHITE HARTE, KINVER
HARES: WELL LAID
Food: off the menu.
Virgins: Tom (see below).
Visitors: none.
Beers: Marston's Wicked Witch, Banks's bitter, Jennings World's Biggest Liar.
The trail: about 25 hashers made the effort up to Southern Staffordshire, and were rewarded as it stopped raining for us, although it remained clouded over, so a waste of a nearly full moon.
An inventive trail, in which we were at once in the middle of nowhere yet never more than a few hundred metres from the car park off. The high point (literally) was Nanny's Rock, gained by a precarious scramble. Then we got lost on the common due to the trail being eaten (Wrong foraging again) so a mixture of routes back to the car park.
Shag gave down-downs to the hare, her husband Robert for doing nothing, the virgin Tom aged 11 from Alberta, the virgin's cousin Rob who has hashed with us before, and of the nominees (Tits or Treats for weeing in the car park) Dennis the Menace got it for checking the on-inn at the start,
Mona Lisa.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1362 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 01 NOVEMBER 2011
PUB: NEW INN, STORRIDGE
HARES: SYBIL
Food: sandwiches & chips.
Virgins: none.
Guests: none.
Beers: Marston's bitter, Banks's bitter.
The trail: the patron saint of hashing (St. Gispert?) has been shining on us recently. Another fine dry evening, and a bit of moonlight, but I nearly didn't get to enjoy it as Trespasser locked me in the car, only twigging as the other 40 or so hashers were setting off.
The trail was basically out and back through the Norrest orchards to Stitchen's Hill, but with some devious excursions in all directions. A great mixture of trodden paths and jungle, with a bit of tarmac in the middle.
As half a bag remarked as we trudged (well, I did) up one of the steep banks "it feels like nice scenery".
Wrong spent much of the time scrumping – no wonder he has bad guts – and Algae Bra discovered that you can't run at the same time as eating a pear.
Shag gave down-downs to the hare, for a proper trail, and of the nominees (Shag himself for calling false on-ons, and Captain Caveman for diving) The Pimp got it for urinating prominently, As a p.s. Multiple Horsegasm got one for wearing new shoes at the après-ski.
Mona Lisa.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1361 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 25 OCTOBER 2011
PUB: STAR, NORTH MALVERN
HARES: GONE COMMANDO, THE PIMP, TITS OR TREATS, SCARY WITCH
Food: Chinese buffet style, courtesy of LoLo (pronounced Lulu).
Virgins: Jenny, Debbie, Aiden, and Lisa.
Guests: none.
Beers: HPA, Shropshire Lad.
The trail: about 40 hashers (remarkable), about half dressed à la Rocky Horror. I don't know who told the local police, but they must have known that we about because they kept well out of the area. After the clement weather of late we were greeted with a heavy downpour as we got ready, but the Star has a nice big smokerama for us to shelter under. The rain mercifully stopped as we took to the trail, 6 or 7 km. with a nice mix of the hill's lower slopes and town, including several back passages I hadn't been up before. A halt at St. Ann's Well, and the second for mulled wine at the Bandstand after we had paraded through the Malvern Theatres. A REQUEST FROM THE THEATRES' MANAGEMENT – THEY DIDN'T MIND THE INVASION, BUT WOULD WE NOT GO THROUGH WHEN WE HAVE WET OR MUDDY SHOES – THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE FLOOR CLEAN AND DRY.
Shag gave down-downs to the hares (Tits or Treats drove it down Wally), the virgins, Pantbuster for his forthcoming Big Six-O, and The Juggler for cuddling Wally to keep him warm (Juggler didn't drink it and it ended up with Wally, so a penalty is due). As for the best dressed The Pimp was superb but Shag thought that less was more and gave it to Rich who wore only trainers and gold briefs. That also merited his christening as "Less is More".
Mona Lisa.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1360 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 18 OCTOBER 2011
PUB: FOX, HANLEY BROADHEATH
HARES: THE AMATEUR
Food: braised steak & mash/cauliflower cheese & mash.
Virgins: none.
Guests: none.
Beers: Batham's bitter, Holden's Golden Glow, JHS Foxy Lady & Amy's Rose.
The trail: again lucky with the weather, as although chilly and breezy it wasn't raining, which would have made this pretty unpleasant as most of the trail was not on established paths. Anyway, a nice round trip for 40 or so of us, with a surprisingly tough climb about half way, before a massive ploughed field and a flat tarmac on-inn.
The boys were spoilt by being allowed to get changed afterwards in the brewery owned by the landlord – it's his JHS beers on the bar.
Shag thanked Emily and Sharon of the Fox, a then gave down-downs to the hare, Kaptain Kremen for telling us it would be £20 a night through the winter, and nominations were Mark with a foot like a football, and Declan for calling Kim his mum, but it went to Gone Commando for being beaten by a giraffe at the Cardiff half marathon.
N.B. next week (The Star, North Malvern) is Rocky Horror fancy dress.
Mona Lisa.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1359 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 11 OCTOBER 2011
PUB: CHASE, UPPER COLWALL
HARES: KAPTAIN KREMEN
Food: sandwiches and chips.
Virgins: Mark.
Guests: none.
Beers: Hobson's Bitter, Batham's bitter, Shropshire Lad, Doom Bar, St. George's Lazy Days, & Sadlers Full Moke.
The trail: another fair evening for some ups and downs (in fact it was down and up) and lots of zigging and zagging. Richard stitched together a number of previously used sections of the hills to make an ingenious and from time to time confusing route, with a particularly nasty false trail up the 100 steps towards the cutting, then the coup de grâce in the climb up to the gold mine. Nice one Kaptain.
Down downs by Sybil to the hare, with compliments for finding new bits off the Old Wych Road, and Wrong for malfunctioning the woodburning stove. Of the fallers Never Ready got it over The Amateur, and one for the virgin Mark.
ERRATA: from report 1356 Roy's son's name is Nat, so his hash handle is Nat's Piss.
From report 1358 there was a christening – Lynsey, "Thorn in your Thong".
Mona Lisa.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1358 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 04 OCTOBER 2011
PUB: FOX AND HOUNDS, LULSLEY
HARES: THE JUGGLER
Food: sort of buffet.
Virgins: none.
Guests: none.
Beers: Hobson's Bitter and Twisted Spire (nice pun?), Otter, Greene King IPA.
The trail: I was dreading this one – in the middle of nowhere in the dark - but The Juggler, aided by a fine evening, got it dead right by sticking to established paths. A lovely uphill start onto the Worcestershire Way for 40 or so hashers, followed by some grassy undulations down the west side of the ridge, a short tarmac climb back to the Worcestershire Way and a fast on-inn. About 6 km. This should be a role model for rural winter trails.
Down downs courtesy of Shag to the hare, described as a perfect hash, and Late for doing the decent thing by announcing the presence of a tree by colliding with it. Nominations were Screw Loose for whingeing, Pantbuster for going to the wrong pub last week, and The Pimp for performing with a model kangaroo, but these were no competition for Tits or Treats with her burnt puppies, and she drove it down Shag.
Mona Lisa.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1357 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 27 SEPTEMBER 2011
PUB: WINNING POST (EX POPE IRON), BARBOURNE
HARES: DANGEROUS
Food: sausage & chip butties.
Virgins: Chris (via Gone Commando).
Guests: none.
Beers: Arrowhead, Banks's Mild & Bitter.
The trail: over 40 hashers set out along the racecourse riverbank, over Sabrina Bridge and, after a lap of the landfill site, up to Hallow Road. That was a good trail, but left us a long way from the pub.
The hare then took us on an arrow guided tour of St. John's making over 12 km by the time we had crossed the City Bridge and back to Barbourne. Still, those who didn't like last week's mud would have enjoyed the tarmac. Nevertheless, a great effort by Dangerous,
Shag gave down-downs to the hare, for obvious reasons, Chris the virgin, Scary Witch for new shoes, and for nominations Pebble Dash with his handbag got it over Drag Queen for hurdling.
Mona Lisa.
DATE: TUESDAY 20 SEPTEMBER 2011
PUB: BLUE BELL, RYALL
HARES: BABUSHKA & LOST
Food: sandwiches & chips.
Virgins: none.
Guests: Claire (C2H3).
Beers: Wye Valley Butty Bach & Bitter, Otter Bright, and Brains Legend.
The trail: fortunately laid in sawdust as there was heavy rain just before the off, which then dwindled to light drizzle. Soft, sticky ploughed clay was a lovely change after the hard dry ground we have had for many months.
Basically a clockwise circle round Ryall, with a Pimms stop at Babushka's house to toast his 70th birthday this Thursday. There seemed to be a lot of big fields, but the hares made it interesting by trickery and (mis)leading us
Shag gave down-downs to the hares, with an award of the red LXX T-shirt to Roy, making it 2 now with Hash Crash (James). The visitor Claire, who didn't even have a hash handle at Cheltenham & Cotswold, was christened "Piston Pimms" for her serial consumption at the birthday boy halt, and Matt (son of Babushka) for shining his torch the right way when he had a P stop, so another christening "Matt's Piss".
The pub did very well, smart, good beer, and good bar staff.
Mona Lisa.
DATE: TUESDAY 13 SEPTEMBER 2011
PUB: SWAN, NEWLAND
HARES: R.SWIPE & GONE COMMANDO
Food: chilli & rice/veggie option.
Virgins: none.
Guests: none.
Beers: St. George's Dragon's Blood and Friar Tuck, Potbelly Welland Owd, Hobgoblin, & Doom Bar.
The trail: a lovely full moon graced this latest in our cross-dressing series. A good turnout of above 40 hashers. As usual the grooms were better looking by and large than the brides, and a few vicars and a chef were in attendance.
The trail was a bit long, flat, and fast, but a very pleasant route with a smashing hash halt at the superb old Bransford Church, and a nice path through a wood north of the Hereford road and back via Leigh Sinton and Howsell.
Shag took his place to do the down-downs, but first introduced the priest in charge, Kerbcrawler, for a christening of Jules (the bride-to-be) who being welsh and from Builth is now to be known as Wuilth (pronounced Wilf), and Kerbcrawler then conducted an appropriate joining ceremony between Wilf and R.Swipe. The down-downs went to the hares, the best of the fallers Virgin Plucker, and the best dressed in which Lost and Dangerous were beaten by The Pimp in his £40 dress.
Another fun packed evening, thanks to the hares, the priest, and the pub.
Mona Lisa.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1355 BY SCRIBE
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1354 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 06 SEPTEMBER 2011
PUB: LENCHFORD
HARES: UNLACED
Food: sandwiches & chips.
Virgins: none.
Guests: none.
Beers: none.
The trail: 8 km. fairly flat, fairly fast.
About 35 hashers again, following the trail through some nice woodland and some open country. How many times have I said "she seemed like a nice girl" and been proved wrong. I never thought that Angie would fall into that category, but getting us to within 100 metres of Shrawley church but taking us 1 kilometre to get there, then doing a loop round it, deserves some recognition. Very pretty though. Then a drop down to the River Severn and a flat fast run in, with a reminder that torches will soon be required. Thanks Angie.
Sybil administered down-downs to the hare, to Rob, last week's virgin, for bashing through stiles like a bull in a china shop (cue for a hash handle?), Camouflage for sneaking out of the circle to pass wind, Wrong for leaving his haemorrhoids on the trail which were recovered for us by Sybil, who was going to put them in Wrong's down down but he had gone home so Camouflage got them in his, and Mona Lisa for his dazzling shoes and trying to hide them in plastic bags.
Mona Lisa.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1353 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 30 AUGUST 2011
PUB: BREWERS
HARES: SHITFACED, GONE COMMANDO, SCARY WITCH, & UNICORN
Beers: Shropshire Lad, Black Pear, Doom Bar, HPA & Butty Bach, and Marstons Bitter & Pedigree.
Food: sausage & chip butties.
Virgins: Bob.
Guests: none.
The trail: 4 miles at last.
About 35 hashers set off to a nice hash halt after 50 metres, where Gone Commando gave down downs to the Pubathon miscreants. Then a smashing route through the woods, with the stragglers appreciating Scary Witch's directions, to a lovely viewpoint. Then up the north end for a fantastic sunset over Wales seen from the ridge.
Sybil administered down-downs to the hares, the virgin, The Pimp for going exploring off trail, and Wrong got it (over Ever Ready the faller) for needing a chaperone to take a leak behind a tree.
As Sybil declared, thanks to all at the Brewers, which ranks at the top of our favourite pubs.
Mona Lisa.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1352 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 23 AUGUST 2011
PUB: PLUME OF FEATHERS
HARES:THE PIMP
Beers: Shropshire Lad, Thwaites' Bitter, Abbot, Smarts Best, Church End Hop Gun, and Westons Cider.
Food: select from the menu, but the baguette & chips went well.
Virgins: 2 tonight, James and Melanie.
Guests: none.
The trail: Parking was a common problem. The Landlady apparently gets whinges from the natives about her customers parking on the common, so we had to move en masse, which delayed the on off.
A pity my report on the Whitbourne trail hadn't been published, as Tuesdays had recently become a weekly 10k, so no recrimination on Brad, especially as he took this one on at short notice.
45 or so hashers set off to find that by extreme coincidence there was a sawdust trail following almost the same route as our flour trail. Brad had tried to avoid it but kept finding it.
The ground was rock hard – will it ever rain again? The hare did very well as I completely lost my sense of direction several times. I once rode a cyclocross called "The Circuit of the Sods". This trail could be called the circuit of the turds, as there were cowpats, dung heaps, and a slurry to negotiate. Also Rambo lurking beside the wooded gully with his shotgun. Anyway, a great trail, thanks Brad.
Shag awarded down-downs to the hares, the virgins, the shortcutters, of whom there were lots but Shirtlifter was conspicuous at the back and for the poor excuse he came up with, and The Amateur for trying to conceal his shortcut by trickery . There was also a naming – Claire "Multiple Horsgasm" as she has come 3 times and is an equine vet.
Great to see this pub up and running. Thanks to Susie and her team at the Plume of Feathers.
Mona Lisa.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1351 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 16 AUGUST 2011
PUB: WHEATSHEAF, WHITBOURNE
HARES: DRAG QUEEN & SAY NO MORE
Beers: Hobson's Mild, Shropshire Lad, John Smith's Bitter, Sharps Own, and Dorothy Goodbody's Golden.
Food: burgers (beef, chicken, or veggie), pie, scampi, or "catch of the day" all with super big chips.
Virgins: not tonight.
Guests: Third Erection & Ride a Dick, from Calgary.
The trail: a cracking route through a fair bit of new territory with the far point (and high point) at Tedstone Delamere. The hare was spot on when she described the main climb as "torrid". Otherwise some lovely woodland and meadows connected by little bridges over the brooks. Then the last bit through the amazing maize. I never thought that I would be too short to see the way.
This wins the "longest trail award" so let's settle down to some genuine 4 miles, hour and a quarter trails.
Shag awarded down-downs to the hares, especially for spending so long out laying the trail, and the visitors. Hung over from the hash weekend were Virgin Plucker who entertained a bulldog, Tits or Treats for servicing the Jacuzzi, but it went to Lost for his self-erecting tent.
Back to tonight, nominations were Kaptain Kremen for breaking the hare ears, Shitfaced for wiping bullshit off his shoes, Doctor Foster for a virtual red dress, but the winners were Trespasser and Hayfever for misdemeanours in the woods.
Afterwards Ride a Dick gave out some attractive cloth badges from her home hash.
Another great pub on our patch. Thanks to Steve, Katie, and Chloe at the Wheatsheaf.
Mona Lisa.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1350 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 09 AUGUST 2011
PUB: FIR TREE, DUNHAMPSTEAD
HARES: TRESPASSER
Beers: Otter, Spitfire.
Food: sandwiches & chips.
Virgins: not tonight.
Guests: none.
The trail: a smaller turnout than of late, about 30, for a trail laid in a distinctive granular flour, "easy to spot". There was an option of 2 routes, long and longer. It was horribly flat but very pleasant, and surprisingly only a brief excursion on the canal (with a checkback), and a falsie over the railway. We didn't know that Trespasser was a golf lover until tonight, but after 3 rounds we finally escaped from the course, much to the relief of the golfers we kept interrupting.
Shag awarded down-downs to the hare, especially for putting the short cut at the start of the trail, Dennis the Menace for nicking a ball off the golf course, and The Pimp for his lurid pink new shoes, and he was made to drink it out of one, but most went through the holes.
Mona
AWAY BASH NUMBER 1 BY SCRIBE
DAE: 29/07/11 -02/08/11
VEN UE: COAST TO COAST (C2C)
BASHERS: MONA LISA & WRONG
PUB: LOTS
Friday 29 July. Oh no, it’s raining. Rode to Worcester Foregate Street station, and met Martin at Birmingham New Street to board the 10.20, changing at Lancaster to head round the Lake District coast to Whitehaven, where we arrived early afternoon in brilliant sunshine. I didn’t take long to find a nice hill as we rode over the top via Sandwith to St. Bees, where we dipped our back wheels in the sea, eat a pie, and headed east up a very steep climb over to Bigrigg and on to our first night stop at the Parkside Hotel in Cleator Moor. Yates bitter, very good. A walk through the town to the Brook Inn for some Hesket Newmarket bitter, a look at the splendid St. Mary’s church opposite, and great fish & chips from Wath Brow chippy. Then more Yates bitter as a nightcap. 26 km. 6 pints.
Saturday 30 July. Set off at 09.00. shirt off across quiet lanes and the severe alternative route over Whinlatter Pass to Keswick. Martin had escaped me and there was no mobile signal until then, but we eventually met in Threlkeld for Jennings Dark Mild and Theakston’s bitter at the 2 pubs in this small settlement. The C2C followed the old road to the Mill at Mungrisedale for a pint of Robinson’s, then on to Greystoke, a beautiful village. We stayed in “The Shed” at Brathen, self contained and superb. Ate at Boot and Shoe with Black Sheep, Bombardier, and Lancaster Blonde. 78 km. 7 pints.
Sunday 31 July. Away again at 09.00, east to Penrith past a castle with a split tower inside which a house has been built. Then climb up through lanes and super descent to cross River Eden. From Renwick all uphill to Hartside Summit 1,903 ft above sea level, with tea and mars cake at the café occupied by about 100 bikers. A succession of severe ups and downs for a pint of Allendale bitter at the George & Dragon in Garrigill, followed by the hardest up and steepest down of the trip for a chicken tikka baguette in the Miners Arms at Nenthead washed down with a couple of Hesket Newmarket bitters. Another massive magnificent climb over to Allenheads and yet another climb before the fantastic 4 mile on inn downhill to the Rookhope Inn. Rookhope bitter, Bombardier, and Deuchars IPA with good food in between. Whether it was the altitude, the effort, or the beer I don’t know, but I burst a blood vessel in my eye. Martin said I should know better and go slower.
Good night. 77 km. 6 or 8 pints – who’s counting.
Monday 01 August. Away just before 09.00.Within the first 10 km. there were 2 extreme climbs, the ascent out of Rookhope and the aptly named Crawleyside, and still more up before we turned off to take the old railway tracks descending almost all the way to Blaydon, with great scenery viewed from the magnificent viaducts. A bit of jiggery pokery before finding the Keelman at Newburn. This is the home of Big Lamp Brewery, so food with 3 pints, then bus into Newcaslte for exploring somewhere I had never been. Well worth it. Super buildings, a walk over the Millennium Bridge, a thunderstorm outside the Sage Theatre, and back on the High Level Bridge for more grub and beer. Then back on the bus for some beer at the Keelman where we were staying in a separate building on the brewery complex.
56 km. 8 pints.
Tuesday 02 August. Away without breakfast at 09.00. Stayed on north bank (HCW – Hadrian’s Wall Cycleway) a nice ride joined part of the way by Brian from Stanley. Brian lost his right leg below the knee 4 years ago, but still rides 30 to 40 miles a day. Dipped front wheel in sea at Tynemouth after 30 km. then fish & chips at Fish Quay, under the tunnel and back on the south bank. Total 52 km. NO BEER. Just as well as the south bank had a drop towards the River Tyne with a sharp bend and no fence. Train straight to Birmingham to end a great experience. Thanks Wrong.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1348 BY SCRIBE
DATE: TUESDAY 26 JULY 2011
PUB: SWAN, NEWLAND
HARES: SHAG, GONE COMMANDO, ANAL TREAT
Beers: Hobgoblin, Doom Bar, Three Tuns, St. George's Friar Tuck and Dragon's Blood.
Food: chilli or veggie.
Virgins: Ben and Charlie.
Guests: none this week.
The trail: I didn't count but possibly 50 hashers in a variety of "uniforms" including police men and women, doctors and nurses, schoolpersons, and scouts. Across the fields and railway line to the first pub halt at the New Inn Howsell, then weaving through the streets to the Prince of Wales, Worcester Road to the Unicorn, and down through town to the Foresters. At each of these four pub halts Shag awarded down-downs including the hares twice (once for losing almost the entire hash), Mona for front running, the nurses, Well Laid for the best cleavage, and Bottom Drawers the faller.
Then the longest on-in in the world ever – 6 km across Madresfield.
Afterwards Mona announced that his charity shave had yielded £350 to share between Acorns Children's Hospice and Midlands Air Ambulance. He also brought news of the death of Jim, the landlord of the Cross Keys, Suckley, which has hosted many hashes and the Boxing Day 10.
Shag awarded down downs, to Ben and Charlie the virgins, "best dressed" Kaptain Kremen the air hostess, the faller and renaming "Love Bite" (formerly Bottom Drawers), another renaming "Get 'em Off" dressed as a referee (formerly Up For It), the chief hare Gone Commando for the length of the trail, and Alison (Anal Treat) the birthday girl.
Mona Lisa.
REPORT ON HASH NUMBER 1356 BY SCRIBE